Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, 

dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; 

Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.

(Surah Al Baqarah: 216)

When are you coming back?

Cuti berapa lama kali ni? -Mama-

:')

I am just missing you, Mama. 

Thank you for loving me endlessly since Day 1 :D

Thank you for taking care, asking me this and that.

Always soothing! 

I love you too more than you ever comprehend. Hee.

As much as I am fond of music, 

your voice is my favourite song by far.

In this case, I should thank to Penang in particular 

for really teaching me the many many real meaning. 

RINDU yang paling terbanyak nya.

Untuk rindu yang tak terungkap dan sebagainya.

Until next time. Eh I wanted to write other things, but never mind lah, end up tulis lain pula. -.-

Regret? NO!

Where have you been? Where have you gone? Where are you, MOTIVATION, INSPIRATION, and PASSION? I know it is still there, too far maybe! Seems to have none of it right now :'( I put everything away. Maybe for a while. Ohhh Allah, help me! I can't help myself at the moment but to compare this and that. To compare myself with my peers. Feeling down, low, demotivated, just name it. And yes, these 2/3 weeks weren't that good. I have to change. I need to find myself back. Just yesterday, I realized that I should be grateful for all the things that happened to me.

I think that I am having a hard and rough times now, but I forgot that there are many out there are having much much more difficult times that I am. Ouchhh. Easier for the people to say, Be strong! Thank you, I appreciate it. I know I am the one who has to go though everything. You are fortunate enough, Aina! YES YOU ARE! Remember that. These hard times shall passed. However, through all these what I am enduring right now, I am glad that I could reach this far. Allah has given me the strength that I needed to continue this journey. Everything happen for a reason. Be grateful, always pray to Allah, ask Him for everything! Kau kena bangkit. There is hope :') Esok masih ada, insha allah!

I might have chosen the path that have less travelled by. PERHAPS!
Pastinya ada sebab. Pastinya ada sinar.
Aku nak lihat bila semua ini berakhir, aku akan tersenyum. PUAS~

Something of 2016 and the anxiety

Hello, people. It is Sunday. It is already December. Few days more to bid farewell to 2016. Yeah, 2016. Coming to an end of this 2016, I asked myself. What have you done in 2016? What have you achieved in 2016? I shared and asked the same thing to my friend who is close to me here in USM, Athirah! We were like, WHAAAAATTTTT???? Athirah said something like this, 2016 adalah satu-satunya tahun yang aku tanya balik, apa yang aku buat dalam hidup aku? Same goes to me, 2016 was not so good in term of achievement. A bit plain and boring, bumpy and sloppy, or even emotional roller coaster ride to me. Of course there are some good things in it, right? Gembira dengan kejayaan orang sekeliling, getting to know more new people, and some are  your close friends now. That is all blessings I would say.

Okay now, turning 25 next year in 2017, of course I hope the year will fill with more happy moment or perhaps something magical :') However, my fears: not being able to fulfill my dream, not being able to support my parents, not being able to have an occupation... BUT BUT BUT... I always always tell myself, you have to work hard and leave the rest to Allah to decide. He knows what is best for you. As for now, I am trying to make things work. First and foremost, of course this study and dissertation thingy need to be done before I can proceed with my other wishlist or whatsoever so called my too long bucketlists! HAHA. 2017 is the year. I HAVE TO WORK ON ACCORDING TO MY PLAN. Of course, to graduate, back to Kuala Lumpur living with parents, look after them, get a good and decent job! (Pray for me, people).

At the age of 24/25 years, I think most of us including me is fighting with own self. Having a hard times -.- A lot of advice people will throw to you, and some could be encouraging and some could be useless. Nehhhhh! But for one thing, in getting something you want, you need to gave up on something. Sad enough! You have to fight some bad days to earn the good things in your life. At this very moment, I just hope, I am not losing myself, and we will have strength to pull through everything. Past is past.



I shall stop.
Tomorrow, I have to submit my assignment.
I don't have so much time but still able to write here.


Take care!

Sharing from IIUM Confession

23

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

If you’re reading this, congratulations! For being alive, for choosing not to give up for whoever you are and whoever you wanted to be, but most of all, for your willingness to read this most definitely long post fully written in a language that may be alien to some of you.

Why in English? Nope, not a TESL graduate. Nope, not an English teacher. Nope, was not born in the UK. And nope, English is not my mother-tongue. Because I can, because I wanted to. Because I’ve read way too many harsh and sarcastic comments hurled at innocent people who just wanted to post their opinions in English, and mind you they were using decent English at that too.

I figured that one of the contributing factors of all these ‘hate’ is partly because people are not quite familiar with the language.

‘People fear what they don’t understand and hate what they can’t conquer’- Andrew Smith. Another part would be that people are just trying to be mean, which is so not cool. So here’s my post, simply put with some occasional errors so that you can read and hopefully, understand and be familiar with even for the littlest bit.

That being said, this post is written with the intention to share. Humbly, to inspire. Hopefully, to help. And most definitely, not to brag.
I may not be as experienced or as wise in life as the 30 year olds or the 40 year olds. I may even be much less experienced than the 20 year olds who have gone through a lot. So here’s 23 things life has taught me from my 23 year old perspective.

1. Being a total failure at 13 does not mean being a total failure forever. At 13, you may not have full and clear understanding of your surroundings and priorities. You’ll grow through the years and things will eventually, inexplicably and sometimes, miraculously make sense. You’ll complete the missing piece of the puzzle and you’ll learn through countless experiences, the good, bad and ugly. You’ll find yourself, who you truly are. Wait for it.

2. Keep a journal/diary/write a blog, whatever you wanna call it. Start from scratch. Start jotting events down, when you’re 12, when you’re 14. Heck, you can even start when you’re 30. Doesn’t matter, age is just a number anyway. Write for a span of months, years and one day you’ll look back at everything you wrote and you’ll realize just how much you’ve grown, just how much things have changed but some things or people stays the same. You’ll witness how everything passes by in dream-like rapidity that they’ll overwhelm you beyond words. Oh, it helps you in your essays too, it really do.

3. Growing up, we’re taught that silence is golden. The exact phrase can be seen on notice boards in schools, on walls in classes acting as educational ‘words of wisdom’. Well, I beg to differ. Silence is not golden. You know what is? Tact.

4. People does not define you. Your past does not define you. Your past does not determine your future. You are NOT who you were 5 years ago. So, why latch on the bygones? Move on, the future holds more than you can imagine and hope for. Dream, dare to dream. Dream big and work towards what you want in life. Strive for your goals because life does not stop for anybody. Hold this in your heart, NOTHING DEFINES YOU BUT YOURSELF.

5. There is absolutely nothing even remotely wrong for being a ‘nerd’. If being a ‘nerd’ makes you smart and helps you achieve your goals, then be one.

6. Read. Iqra’. Read everything and anything. ‘Read in the name of your Lord Who has created’- Al-‘Alaq. Read Leo Tolstoys, Hamka’s, Ramlee Awang Murshid’, Paulo Coelho’s, Hitler’s, Warsan Shire’s. Read the Holy Quran. You’ll be surprised of how much information and knowledge you can gain by reading. Read and you will see the world in ways you’ve never seen before.

7. You like make-up? Good for you. You like video games? Good for you. You like to bake? Good for you. You like K-pop? Cool, me too. You can like whatever you want, do whatever you want regardless of your gender, race or nationality. Respect other people’s preferences, just like how you want yours to be respected. Easy. Embrace instead of hate and the world will be a much better place.

8. Your happiness should not depend on anything/anyone other than your own self. If having lunch by yourself makes you feel contented, feel free to do so. Go watch a movie on your own. Walk around town on your own. Be alone with your own thoughts and discover your true self. It is always better to be alone than to be with the wrong companions.

9. It is okay to be single if that’s what you want. Being in a relationship is not a necessity. Being in a relationship is not exclusive. Being in a relationship is not a trend. Besides, I’ve figured that you learn to love yourself first before loving another. And for me, loving oneself is definitely not an easy job.

10. Never under-estimate the power of Dua’. Especially parents’ in general. Having a bad day? Ask for their blessings. Major problems? Call them and tell them all about it. Really need to find a job? Ask for their dua’. InshaaAllah everything will be eased for you.

11. Need to land interviews? Produce an exceptional cover letter with good written English (this is where your writings and readings comes to good use). You can just Google samples for cover letters and REFER (not copy and paste) those.

12. Need to get the job? Be confident when you speak during interviews. Both multi-national and international companies/firms will conduct the interviews in English. If you’re exceptionally good and confident when you speak, you’ve got better chances. How can you reflect your ability to make decisions at work when you’re unable to even speak confidently?

13. How do you speak confidently in front of people? Speak with the people. With your family, friends or even strangers if you got the chance to. No one wants to entertain you? Find companions who are willing to and keep them.

14. ‘People come and go, some like cigarette breaks, others like forest fires’- something I read on the Internet once.

15. Make time for people who matters to you. Between family, friends and lovers, family always comes first. Always.

16. You’ll learn a lot from observing people, so much more from listening to them.

17. To limit yourself from judging, always put yourself in people’s shoes. Think of what it is like to live their life. There is always a backstory that you do not know about when it comes to people’s characters or behaviors.

18. If you’re having difficulty waking up in the early mornings (or anytime at all) even with multiple sets of alarms (or with none), you can always ask the angel guarding your sleep (Qaihaq) to wake you up in time. InshaaAllah.

19. You don’t always have to do everything to fit in. Instead, do everything in your power to be happy. One of the many ways to be happy is al-Baqarah (2:277).

20. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Learn to see the beauty in everything and everyone. After all, ‘Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty, never grows old’ – Franz Kafka.

21. Nizar Qabbani once stated that, the most dangerous heart disease is a strong memory. Could not have agreed more.

22. You deserve someone who will love you for whoever you were, whoever you are and whoever you will be. You deserve someone who’ll protect and fight for you to death, who respects you and who treats like you’re the most important human being in the whole universe. You deserve someone who can make you completely, excessively and incandescently happy.

23. I love you and I believe in you. I’d have it spelt in the skies if I could. I know you’re strong and you’ll get through everything in your way. It’s okay to rest for a bit before you continue, just don’t ever stop fighting for what you’ve always believed in, that is YOURSELF.

So since you’ve successfully read this grammatically imperfect and ridiculously long post, feel free to correct me where I’m wrong (or just for the sake of commenting) in the comment section below, in one condition. You shall only comment in English. Fair enough?

Thank you and have a great day! Assalamualaikum.

– K.A.S