Sharing from IIUM Confession

23

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

If you’re reading this, congratulations! For being alive, for choosing not to give up for whoever you are and whoever you wanted to be, but most of all, for your willingness to read this most definitely long post fully written in a language that may be alien to some of you.

Why in English? Nope, not a TESL graduate. Nope, not an English teacher. Nope, was not born in the UK. And nope, English is not my mother-tongue. Because I can, because I wanted to. Because I’ve read way too many harsh and sarcastic comments hurled at innocent people who just wanted to post their opinions in English, and mind you they were using decent English at that too.

I figured that one of the contributing factors of all these ‘hate’ is partly because people are not quite familiar with the language.

‘People fear what they don’t understand and hate what they can’t conquer’- Andrew Smith. Another part would be that people are just trying to be mean, which is so not cool. So here’s my post, simply put with some occasional errors so that you can read and hopefully, understand and be familiar with even for the littlest bit.

That being said, this post is written with the intention to share. Humbly, to inspire. Hopefully, to help. And most definitely, not to brag.
I may not be as experienced or as wise in life as the 30 year olds or the 40 year olds. I may even be much less experienced than the 20 year olds who have gone through a lot. So here’s 23 things life has taught me from my 23 year old perspective.

1. Being a total failure at 13 does not mean being a total failure forever. At 13, you may not have full and clear understanding of your surroundings and priorities. You’ll grow through the years and things will eventually, inexplicably and sometimes, miraculously make sense. You’ll complete the missing piece of the puzzle and you’ll learn through countless experiences, the good, bad and ugly. You’ll find yourself, who you truly are. Wait for it.

2. Keep a journal/diary/write a blog, whatever you wanna call it. Start from scratch. Start jotting events down, when you’re 12, when you’re 14. Heck, you can even start when you’re 30. Doesn’t matter, age is just a number anyway. Write for a span of months, years and one day you’ll look back at everything you wrote and you’ll realize just how much you’ve grown, just how much things have changed but some things or people stays the same. You’ll witness how everything passes by in dream-like rapidity that they’ll overwhelm you beyond words. Oh, it helps you in your essays too, it really do.

3. Growing up, we’re taught that silence is golden. The exact phrase can be seen on notice boards in schools, on walls in classes acting as educational ‘words of wisdom’. Well, I beg to differ. Silence is not golden. You know what is? Tact.

4. People does not define you. Your past does not define you. Your past does not determine your future. You are NOT who you were 5 years ago. So, why latch on the bygones? Move on, the future holds more than you can imagine and hope for. Dream, dare to dream. Dream big and work towards what you want in life. Strive for your goals because life does not stop for anybody. Hold this in your heart, NOTHING DEFINES YOU BUT YOURSELF.

5. There is absolutely nothing even remotely wrong for being a ‘nerd’. If being a ‘nerd’ makes you smart and helps you achieve your goals, then be one.

6. Read. Iqra’. Read everything and anything. ‘Read in the name of your Lord Who has created’- Al-‘Alaq. Read Leo Tolstoys, Hamka’s, Ramlee Awang Murshid’, Paulo Coelho’s, Hitler’s, Warsan Shire’s. Read the Holy Quran. You’ll be surprised of how much information and knowledge you can gain by reading. Read and you will see the world in ways you’ve never seen before.

7. You like make-up? Good for you. You like video games? Good for you. You like to bake? Good for you. You like K-pop? Cool, me too. You can like whatever you want, do whatever you want regardless of your gender, race or nationality. Respect other people’s preferences, just like how you want yours to be respected. Easy. Embrace instead of hate and the world will be a much better place.

8. Your happiness should not depend on anything/anyone other than your own self. If having lunch by yourself makes you feel contented, feel free to do so. Go watch a movie on your own. Walk around town on your own. Be alone with your own thoughts and discover your true self. It is always better to be alone than to be with the wrong companions.

9. It is okay to be single if that’s what you want. Being in a relationship is not a necessity. Being in a relationship is not exclusive. Being in a relationship is not a trend. Besides, I’ve figured that you learn to love yourself first before loving another. And for me, loving oneself is definitely not an easy job.

10. Never under-estimate the power of Dua’. Especially parents’ in general. Having a bad day? Ask for their blessings. Major problems? Call them and tell them all about it. Really need to find a job? Ask for their dua’. InshaaAllah everything will be eased for you.

11. Need to land interviews? Produce an exceptional cover letter with good written English (this is where your writings and readings comes to good use). You can just Google samples for cover letters and REFER (not copy and paste) those.

12. Need to get the job? Be confident when you speak during interviews. Both multi-national and international companies/firms will conduct the interviews in English. If you’re exceptionally good and confident when you speak, you’ve got better chances. How can you reflect your ability to make decisions at work when you’re unable to even speak confidently?

13. How do you speak confidently in front of people? Speak with the people. With your family, friends or even strangers if you got the chance to. No one wants to entertain you? Find companions who are willing to and keep them.

14. ‘People come and go, some like cigarette breaks, others like forest fires’- something I read on the Internet once.

15. Make time for people who matters to you. Between family, friends and lovers, family always comes first. Always.

16. You’ll learn a lot from observing people, so much more from listening to them.

17. To limit yourself from judging, always put yourself in people’s shoes. Think of what it is like to live their life. There is always a backstory that you do not know about when it comes to people’s characters or behaviors.

18. If you’re having difficulty waking up in the early mornings (or anytime at all) even with multiple sets of alarms (or with none), you can always ask the angel guarding your sleep (Qaihaq) to wake you up in time. InshaaAllah.

19. You don’t always have to do everything to fit in. Instead, do everything in your power to be happy. One of the many ways to be happy is al-Baqarah (2:277).

20. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Learn to see the beauty in everything and everyone. After all, ‘Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty, never grows old’ – Franz Kafka.

21. Nizar Qabbani once stated that, the most dangerous heart disease is a strong memory. Could not have agreed more.

22. You deserve someone who will love you for whoever you were, whoever you are and whoever you will be. You deserve someone who’ll protect and fight for you to death, who respects you and who treats like you’re the most important human being in the whole universe. You deserve someone who can make you completely, excessively and incandescently happy.

23. I love you and I believe in you. I’d have it spelt in the skies if I could. I know you’re strong and you’ll get through everything in your way. It’s okay to rest for a bit before you continue, just don’t ever stop fighting for what you’ve always believed in, that is YOURSELF.

So since you’ve successfully read this grammatically imperfect and ridiculously long post, feel free to correct me where I’m wrong (or just for the sake of commenting) in the comment section below, in one condition. You shall only comment in English. Fair enough?

Thank you and have a great day! Assalamualaikum.

– K.A.S